I wear All Natural Mascara So I Can Eat Donuts!

I don’t know about you, but my biggest challenge with running is finding the time to do it!
I wake up every day with a great plan. Drink tea. Eat Breakfast. Do morning chores. Get husband out door. Wake kids. And that’s where it all falls apart. 

I feel the laughter bubbling in my chest as I write this. Those darn kids! They don’t want to get up. They don’t want to get dressed. They don’t have to pee.
And how the hell do they not have to go to the bathroom?! They’ve been sleeping waaaaaay longer than I did, and I had to get up in the middle of the night to go! So I can’t imagine that those tiny, little bladders aren’t about ready to explode.

Oh……and then they do pee! But not in the toilet. Ahhhhh. After that disaster is wiped up we talk about the importance of peeing when we wake up. 
Then they aren’t hungry. They still don’t want to get dressed. Well at least brush your dang teeth!! Nope. So I help that one along a little. Cavities don’t seem like fun to me. 

About eight o’clock rolls around each morning and whether it’s time to leave for the day or it is a home day…… one thing after another keeps happening. 
And by the way……. Two mugs of tea in and I haven’t peed since 4:30am.
So by the time I get to a few spare moments in my 19 or so hours of awakeness…… I haven’t got it in me to even lace up my shoes. 
Sometimes I will give into the comfy recliner and a good book. Other times, especially if I’m at the gym anyways, I will drag myself to a treadmill.

The following is the process my brain goes through while I am running/lumbering……

THIS is going to be epic! I love running. Here we go. Ahhhhh. This is the best. Oh. Yikes, that’s actually really uncomfortable. Why the hell am I doing this?? Is this actually keeping me healthy? Nope, I can NOT get a full breath. I wonder what type of chest pain is dangerous? I definitely need to buy a new sports bra. I should go that right now. Naw, I should probably just go home and do all the dishes.
And then……..
I’m soooooo glad I ran today. My children are the best. I don’t mind that I have to drive home in a snowstorm. And who cares about all those dishes. I sure do love running. I feel amazing. You know what? I’m going to run a half marathon. Yes! I can do it.
Wait for it…..
Shit. I should have peed before I ran. Shit. Cramp. Shit cramps?? Naw, just keep running. Why the fuck do I do this? Chocolate cake sounds good right about now. What IS for dinner anyways? Cramp. Cramp. People may be watching. Make it look like you are in no discomfort at all. That lady is looking at you admiringly. Smile back at her. Yup, there you go. 
Did I wear waterproof mascara today? Nope, probably not. Yup, it’s definitely running down my face. Is all natural mascara supposed to burn my eyeballs?? Why do I wear non-waterproof mascara anyways?? Oh, right. Cause I’m trying to only put healthy products on my body so that when I eat donuts somehow they cancel each other out. Right?
Mmmmm. Donuts.
Okay. That’s better. The thought of donuts makes EVERYTHING better. 
Just breath. These are the pants that fall down aren’t they? For the love of god. I think I cut the drawstring out of these when I wore them right after I had the kids. Actually, I think I may have lost a few pounds. Like since I started running 3 minutes ago. I mean, I feel so much thinner. Wait an effing second, I have only been doing this for 3 minutes?!? WTF. 
I think the guy on the treadmill next to me is running at 7.5 miles an hour! He looks so relaxed. My heart feels like it may explode and I’m barely making a 10 minutes mile.

And I generally increase my speed at that point to feel better about myself. 

The way I convince myself to start is by telling myself that I will stop at one mile and be satisfied. I never do. 2-3 miles later, sweat soaked, mascara streaked and much happier, I clean off my machine and attempt to stretch my very inflexible body. 

If you can at all relate to the above few paragraphs, then you may be my kind of runner. Motivated to be the best you possible, certain that with each and every run you may die, and a working mom/dad.
But that’s what it’s all about. Pushing through that, I can’t, I won’t, fine…..just a mile. And feeling stronger, better and more alive on the other side.
The dishes aren’t so overwhelming. The lunches that need to be packed for then next day aren’t as frustrating. And you go home as a better wife/husband/partner/parent/human.
We all have those times that we just can’t figure the day out. And that’s okay. But remember that sometimes we have to stop figuring out everything around us and take just a mile or two or three for ourselves.
​Remember to feed your runner soul.